I am not sure what to write about today. I feel kind of out of it today and this week. This one will likely be just a brain dump and I am okay with that.
I keep thinking about buffering and authenticity and how they relate to each other in living a full life.
This week I became more aware of all of the ways that I buffer away the truth of my life.
Buffering is all of the things we do to escape feeling. It can be overworking, overeating, overdrinking, overspending, procrastinating, obsessing, anything, really. Anything that keeps us from looking at what’s really going on and from feeling the intolerable emotions in our bodies.
I want to remove all of the buffers in my life and I’m kind of afraid to find out what would be left if I did. And I also don’t want to continue living a life of buffering.
I want to write about removing overspending, over-Twittering, overworking. I want to write about dating while shy and socially awkward and socially anxious. I want to write about not defining myself by my shyness and social skills. What would happen if I stopped thinking of myself that way?
How do you date for the love of love and not in order to gain something? What would that even be like? How do you love unconditionally? What is it like to go through the process of growth and personal evolution? Can it be done while having fun? Does it have to be so serious?
I appreciate this post is a total ramble and I appreciate you being here with me and following along or popping in.
Have a beautiful week.